See ya Later, Someday

This past Sunday when I opened up my personal Instagram, literally every post had something to do with the tragic, sudden death of NBA legend Kobe Bryant. I honestly do not have much of an opinion on Mr. Bryant himself. Obviously I do not know him personally and as far as the NBA goes, I’m more of a 1990s Chicago Bulls (aka Michael Jordan) fan. Either way, a tragedy is a tragedy and they occur every day all over our country and the world. The only difference in the tragedy that occurred outside of LA on Sunday and every other tragedy is that the victim and their family are not usually of celebrity status. However, because this tragedy is high profile and all over all of my media outlets for the past several days, it has been a reminder that life is indeed short. Nothing new though, right?

Meet my new motto: Someday is today.

If you are anything like me, you have lots of ideas/items/plans, etc. that you have collected and put aside for someday. Until this latest motto realization, someday did not seem to have happened yet. So even though I have experienced sudden death in my own life, it’s almost as if I was selfishly hoping for someday to walk up to me on the street, wave enthusiastically, and announce its arrival. News flash: after a good 18 years of adulthood someday has not appeared. Weird, I know. Interestingly, today does keep appearing. So I have determined that it is time for me to focus on the today that keeps showing up and let go of the someday that has not shown up even once.

It is going to take many baby and possibly bigger sized steps for me to fully embrace today. Honestly, embracing the today is so out of the norm for me that it feels uncomfortable. Sure, over the last several years and my mental health training, I have spent some time working on mindfulness and being present in the moment. But fully running up, greeting, and hugging the today in my life has never happened. Today’s baby step was to challenge myself every time I thought that I could put something off to be dealt with later. I didn’t do too bad.

What I did today instead of someday:

  • cut back slightly on my sugar intake
  • carried items downstairs that I had been ignoring
  • wrote this blog article

What I did NOT do today instead of someday:

  • laundry
  • laundry
  • laundry

As you can see, these are very small baby steps…. and it isn’t rocket science… but it is different for me. It did make me feel more empowered to keep taking steps torward truly living for today. No matter how small those steps are, I am grateful for the reminder and the opportunity to live another day and focus on the someday that is actually disguised as today.

Blah, Blah, Ideas and Such

Alright, so I’ll be the first to admit that I’m really good at starting things and really horrible at continuing/completing tasks. Part of this can be explained by my ADHD, or anxiety, or even depression symptoms. Actually, I’m going to go ahead and say all of my seeming inability to complete a task can be explained by one or all of my mental health issues. This opinion/conclusion is brought to you by the fact that I cannot come up with any reason for my behavior that cannot be linked back to mental health. So there you have it. Seriously, the only accomplishments in life that I have fully completed have to be education related, and somedays I’m not even sure that I did those correctly since I am not using the skills directly in a career setting. The 2.0 version of Clean Living with the Crazies is something that I am determined to have feel like an accomplishment in the end. I will definitely be shouting it from the rooftops whenever it does feel like an accomplishment, trust me. 

So what can you expect to see while following this blog/vlog/social media experience? First and most basically: glimpses of our everyday lives. Part of my “why” for doing this project is to build community based on those mundane, daily events that can feel so isolating to those of us who experience a mental illness. For example, do you ever make small talk with someone just to walk away feeling like the biggest a$$ in the world? I do. All the time. So I’m going to talk about it, in hopes that being able to relate to each other will make us all feel less alone in this crazy life. Secondly, we will have a loosely followed blog theme schedule. Manic Monday, Tidy Tuesday, What’s that Wednesday, Think it Thursday, and Favorite Friday are my working goals for each week. Will each of these happen every week? If I’m being honest, probably not (see first paragraph rambling about accomplishments, etc.). However, I’m going to try my darnedest, so keep checking back to see what you may have missed! 

I keep mentioning community…. What does that look like? Well, engage with us. Watch our vlogs and leave comments. Read our blogs and comment. Follow us on social media and participate. This is how we build community in the land of Cyberspace. P.S. If you’re just going to be a hater, move on because it will not be tolerated. I have enough self-critical thoughts on my own to last a lifetime. If you’re going to hate, chances are I’ve already had that thought, so just save your time. 

Here it goes. Just a girl and a computer, with a supportive husband and a never-ending platform called the Internet. I mean, what do I have to lose? I could gain a sense of accomplishment.